Girl Talk: The Act of Balancing Part II
“Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall; A mother’s secret hope outlives them all.” —Oliver Wendell Holmes
Its 7am and WE are ready to go. Before we leave, we each say a little prayer. It has been a tradition for us to pray together in the morning and night. My children get an hour to chit chat, study, read or listen to soothing soul music or just sit in silence. Our rides to and from school is therapeutic as we get to talk about politics, fund memories or just share our thoughts and feelings. I AM blessed to take my children to work with me each day. I know what they do, who they are surrounded with and who impacts their daily lives.
This decision was the hardest but most rewarding as I choose to put all promotions on hold. I will not forget the day I cried my eyes swollen. I felt guilty after leaving my children at school unattended at 6:50am to travel to a school 30 miles away. I was a Curriculum Support Specialist supporting 8 different schools and was on the road daily. Yes, I wore suits, rubbed shoulders with Principals and Directors, felt I was climbing the Education ladder. I developed and delivered workshops and felt like I was Ms. KNOW IT ALL and THAT! God humbled me when my son turned to me and said why mommy, why do you leave me so early at school and come home so late. I want more of my mommy. That conversation was my turning point and I knew I would go back into the classroom. After 5 months, I gave the position up to go nurture and care for my birth children. I am first a mommy and then an educator. Why worry about others and not your own?
I truly enjoy what I do. I am able to touch many lives. The great blessing is that I connect with students. I can Juju to the beat, laugh about teenage memories with them, yet stillI I demand the respect as an adult. My children in my classroom gives me 100% and more. Some days I play band director while rhyming to the beats of mnemonics to teach students the Math content. Some days I am the biggest cheerleader; giving that autistic student hope when he gets a problem correct. Other days I am just a motivator, preaching to them about valuing the educational opportunities available.
My days are long and yes my days can be rough. I know that there are days I just want to curl up and cry. I don’t have an easy road as I am the main bread winner for my 2 beautiful children. The rewards are even greater knowing that I have firsthand of picking their teachers and knowing everything that happens on their educational journey. I get home and I can only find myself laying down in silence exhausted after teaching 7.5 hours straight none stop. I don’t get a planning or a break as I have to earn extra to balance my finances and to support my children. I BRING my lunch most time as I use the time to make copies, enjoy lunch with some of my favorite girls or just catch up on work. Do I have a choice? No…I wish.
I am grateful for everyday I wake up. I have an amazing career surrounded by amazing students. I give up my mornings and afternoons to help a child in need. I am at school some mornings at least 30 mins early working with students who wants to learn to sew. In addition, I volunteer and stay late 2 evenings to help a student catch up with math for FREE. Many ask why do you do this? My rewards are in heaven and I tell folks, my children will reap my benefits.
Evenings are rough, homework assignments are finished up in the car on our way home as my children have activities 3-4 days a week. Yes, I keep their minds busy so they do not think about all the craziness of this world. I balance these activities as I don’t believe in over doing it. They stop when they feel overwhelmed and we resume when they are ready. I do this with God’s footsteps walking next to me in the sand.
I am truly exhausted sharing how I balance my life. Am I happy with it? HECK YES! Do I feel overwhelmed, beatdown, wanna quit? Sure I do! My heavenly Father carries me daily, comforts me in time of need, and supports my walk and journey. My Faith is all I have and that is what help and guides me on this trip called “life”.
Thanks for reading and don’t forget to share your thoughts. I will continue to touch and inspire others. Stay tune for a post on our weekend journey. We are overdue for a family getaway and plan to do so before the holidays!!!